Wednesday, April 20, 2011

We Sang Our Songs (What I Will Be When I Grow Up)

I'm so afraid that everyone I love will die
and I will be left alone in a too-small box,
knocking on the lid with my nose
in a silent place with no good smells.

I don't know why I live so timid, never intimate,
claiming instead to be encircled
by enormous tall oblong protruding pastel faces
of animals leering sexually and wondering
half to themselves, aloud,
what I will be when I grow up.

I know how to sing! I know how to play! I know how to write!
I know how to walk around without my head in some damn cloudbanks,
looking down the wet slope of a murdered bridge.

Stop telling me I don't!

I'm not from where you're from!
Where I came from, we sang our songs
because we knew them by heart, not by rote.
Stoppit, damn stupid condemnation evil notion, confusing the two!

I won't listen to you. Goodbye!


  1. "Where I came from, we sang our songs because we knew them by heart, not by rote"

    I love this. Also, this is personal and direct, addressing fears and expressing rebellion against evil. Fantastic.

    Damn is such a good word. I had an entire conversation about how good it is.
    Don't be afraid. Firstly, the only box you could get stuck in is the box of your mind, and if I know you at all, as long as you have people with free minds to remind you of what freedom looks like, or people with boxed in minds to remind you how not to think, you'll be fine.
    Secondly, I don't think everyone you love will die unless you know some horrible big secret that I haven't heard.
    What in the world are the enormous tall oblong protruding pastel animal faces that leer sexually?

  3. I love this. We came for the LORD Almighty, Giver of songs in the night. Demons don't want us to sing, play or write. I know how you feel. I'm glad it ended the way it did: victory!

  4. I'm so glad to know that this spoke to you, Alyssa. Have you seen these other two? They deal with the very same theme.